I’ve long been haunted porn by the memory of a stay memek in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for bokep caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, bokeh she rolled her eyes and bokep declared the woman an ‘actrice’, bokep crot or crot sex worker.

Now, porn according to this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, porn it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women bokeh know and bokeh all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, memek the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, bokeh you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: crot there’s sex as crot performance art, bokeh and memek sex bokep as genuine intimacy. And memek when a porn woman is genuinely memek aroused, crot trusts her partner and bokep is not fearing for bokep a fragile male ego, memek she’s far more likely to gently sigh and crot moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, bokeh female contributors bokeh regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally bokeh on an occasional basis, crot they’d explain, memek so they could make their partner feel happy, memek while conserving their energy for crot other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study memek by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and porn ‘manipulation’, porn and crot that women were prone to what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, memek so bokep to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, memek the greater the bokep chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: crot ‘I’m enjoying this, bokep but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, bokep ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, crot where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland bokeh said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: porn ‘As far as I’m concerned, porn that’s what you should be doing.’

Well, bokep only if you want to attract a certain kind of attention.

In their book, crot Sex At Dawn, crot Christopher Ryan and bokeh Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy during sex – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and bokep keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, bokeh I can understand crot the need to advertise. But if you’re not, crot then men should take heed: porn the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris