I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so crot loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for bokep caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, memek she rolled her eyes and crot declared the woman an ‘actrice’, memek or crot sex worker.

Now, porn according to this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, crot it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and bokep all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, crot the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, bokeh you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: porn there’s sex as performance art, bokeh and bokeh sex as genuine intimacy. And porn when a woman is genuinely aroused, memek trusts her partner and porn is not fearing for memek a fragile male ego, bokep she’s far more likely to gently sigh and bokep moan than shriek bokep like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, porn female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, memek they’d explain, memek so they could make their partner feel happy, bokep while conserving their energy for memek other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and bokep ‘manipulation’, bokeh and crot that women were prone to what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners memek over the finishing line, crot so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, memek the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: bokeh ‘I’m enjoying this, bokep but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, bokep ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, bokep memek where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland memek said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: bokeh ‘As far as I’m concerned, crot that’s what you should be doing.’

Well, crot only if you want crot to attract a certain kind of attention.

In their book, porn Sex At Dawn, crot Christopher Ryan and bokep Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women crot were noisy during sex memek – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and memek keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, bokep I can understand porn the need to advertise. But if you’re not, bokep then men should take heed: crot the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris